Relationships- Understanding yourself is a key element. Whether you are seeking a relationship, in a relationship, or married. Getting to know yourself first is essential. What are your strengths, and your values? What do you have to offer to a future partner or to your spouse? My focus always starts with and is based on “What’s STRONG with You?” Bringing your best to a relationship and focusing on what’s STRONG with your relationship will bring about an even stronger relationship. I use positive psychology exercises as well as my own techniques to help you see and grow the relationship you have always wanted. I do this through workshops, one on one coaching, group coaching, and seminars. Start your breakthrough today.
We all have a story. Today as you read this blog I want you to think about your story. Where you are in your story. What the next page will reveal. Let’s go one step further; let’s imagine what your story would look like in a perfect world.
So we have determined that you have a story. We ALL do. Our stories pretty much all start out the same, kind of like the bible, “in the beginning”. That is where the similarities end. No two people experience the exact same things. Even two siblings who live in the same house with the same two parents experience things differently. This individuality that we are born with causes us to need, feel, and interpret things in a way unique to us. That is what makes your story different from that of your siblings.
Why is it that some of us choose NOT to repeat or live in the negativity of our past? You may notice the word “choose” in that statement. It is just that we have not escaped life unscathed by situations and experiences but how we choose to deal with them is just that, ” a choice.” We make choices based on the information we have at the time and based on our individual needs, feelings, and emotions. Think back to a positive experience you experienced in your life. You can choose to relive that experience and live the joy felt at that time, you can recreate or replicate what produced that positive experience and hope to gain more positive experiences similar to or better than the first. You may do the same with a negative situation. It is a choice; you are only stuck if you want to relive the past. – Katrina
Thanksgiving is only days away. I bet you are already imagining the smells of your favorite foods, feeling the joy of seeing the faces of friends and family, maybe even envisioning the table set with mom’s China and best silverware. We can actually increase our ability to appreciate our holiday by anticipating Thanksgiving. This is a type of savoring called anticipatory savoring.
Another way to really get the most out of our Holiday is something that is more than likely something you do at each family holiday gathering, reminiscing. Telling stories of Thanksgivings past, and sharing experiences we remember with old and new family members is another type of savoring.
As much as we enjoy eating all our favorite foods we enjoy the time together more. Give yourself a break this season. Try savoring more than the food but the memories you are making and the ones you are recalling from the past. It isn’t the number of dishes on the table to choose from that makes the day special it is the time together that matters most.
Savor the thoughts of being together, the time you are together, and the memories from past Thanksgivings. ~ Katrina
My latest newsletter.
I remember the first positive psychology term that I ever heard in class. This was a label unlike the other labels that I had studied in my psychology classes. It changed the direction of my life and the path that I would take to fulfill my calling. The term was post- traumatic growth, or PTG. The definition is positive change that occurs as a result of a struggle with a major life crisis or traumatic event. Simply put, bad things happened and the person/s finds a greater sense of purpose in life, a connection with something bigger than the self,such as a cause or greater appreciation for life and family.
What was it about PTG that had such a profound impact on my life and my career? I worked with our military on a daily basis at that time. All too often the service members would offer a warning,so to speak, about their possible reaction to loud noises. They would say “Ma’am, if I hear loud noises or a door slam I might hit the floor.” This would typically be followed with t I just returned home”, but always included, ” I have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)”
The part of this story that bothered me the most was the shame and defeat that accompanied this diagnosis, as if it were a life sentence. The diagnosis became an identity for some, our biggest heroes weighted down with a ruck sack they felt destined to carry for the rest of their life. I had listened to so many stories of losses from deployments and so much strength and bond of family and in their teams. I sat and listened with the gift that I had to give, a caring heart, and an appreciation for the great sacrifices made by them, their families, and their brothers and sisters in arms.
I remember the first time a service member shared their PTSD story/diagnosis with me after learning of post-traumatic growth. When his story was over I asked a simple question, “Have you ever heard of post-traumatic growth”? He asked me tell him more about it and so I shared how PTG is growth that is experienced after a traumatic event/s. It can show up in several ways: by a greater appreciation for life and family, through a shared or common bond of a new mission or cause, a greater sense of connection to those who suffer, new opportunities that would not have been present before, an increased sense of strength, or stronger religious connection. I asked him to do some research on the topic. I will never forget the reaction that quickly came from my patient. His face lit up and he boldly proclaimed ” I have that! I have that! Finally, a label that brought excitement not defeat. I did not have to ask him to share, he quickly told me that he was better prepared to help the young privates avoid IED’s (Improvised explosive device) because he survived an IED explosion. As a drill sargent this was especially impactful as he trained so many who would be deployed.
I am in no way saying that everyone that experiences trauma will experience post traumatic growth. Nor I am saying that everyone that experiences trauma will end up with post-traumatic stress disorder. What I am saying is that as humans we are incredibly resilient and we tend to find a way to make meaning out of life and situations. Looking back 6 plus years later this one term in a social psychology book set me on a journey of exploration. This exploration led me to the field of positive psychology. I found amazing programs from the flourishing center where I completed a certificate in applied positive psychology,CAPP, and became a certified resilience trainer, CRT, licensed to teach “Bounce Back Better(R) Resilience System” both flourishing center programs.
I love this field! I choose to focus on what is strong with people rather than what is wrong with people.
We need people in all areas of the vast field of psychology. I value the work and research of all who are called serve in all capacities in psychology. I glean knowledge daily through reading and listening to experts both clinical and research based. I hear and feel a common connection. A sense of using what we have experienced to help the lives of others. The satisfaction of being a part of something bigger than ourselves, a greater appreciation for life and relationships. Could it be,that those who work in the great field of psychology are products of PTG? I ask that you look at your life and experiences through the lens of opportunities.Where and how can you help others by what you have lived through? What can you teach? ~Katrina
#pospsych #changeagent #newmission #PTG
Katrina Goff, CAPP
Katrina Goff, CAPP
Positive Psychology Practitioner, Certified Resilience Trainer, Coach- CEO/ Owner PS3 Coaching LLC
Which is more important inhalation or exhalation? Some may say inhalation but exhalation is equally important. Just as our bodies were created with this basic need that is anything but basic; the same holds true for our mental and emotional health.
To live in the past leaves you gasping for air. Getting stuck in memories whether good or bad deprives you of this moment and the fresh memories that are waiting to be created. To inhale the future one must breathe in the present and and exhale the past. To create energy take in shorter quicker breaths. Memories can bring life to a grieving family member. Memories are like breaths, meant to hold but for a time; knowing they will be there to visit when we choose. If you try to live inside a memory you rob yourself and those around you of the breath of this moment filled with laughter, beauty, and human touch.
To live only in this moment can lead to hyperventilation. The rush of the contract, getting ahead of the Jones’s, or that financial goal that you set to prove yourself to others comes at a high price. The stress that we place on ourselves being pulled in all directions home, work, and bills make living the good life seem similar to the anxiety of that some people feel at the dental office. If this brings back memories of a dental visit you experienced, hopefully it included a calm and reassuring voice. A voice suggesting that you slow your breathing, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. This is not a technique useful only in a medical setting, anxiety arises when we feel we are not in control of a situation. Calm the rush of thoughts with longer, slower breaths. This world rushes by too quickly as it is. Live fully in this moment. Look for the beauty that is all around you. The mountains majestically placed among the rippling rivers and dancing sunshine. The night sky inviting you to dream of far off places and unknown destinations. Put work aside and play on the floor with your kids, date your spouse, and dream “together dreams”.
To live is to find a balance between inhaling the future and exhaling the past. Holding on to the past keeps you from living in the moment. Living only in this moment robs you of the memories and lessons of the past. Learn how to adapting the physical aspect of breathing is essential to your emotional and mental health. Inhale what brings life and exhale what has lost it’s usefulness. In other words, keep what you need and let go of the rest. ~Katrina -PS3 Coaching LLC
I grew up with Dragnet and the phrase “Just the facts Mam.” Some where along the way it seems we forget to apply this to our thoughts. Not every thought that enters our mind is true or serves us well. I teach companies, organizations, teams and individuals how to take these thoughts to court to unlock the success that at times seems just out of reach.
The mindset and skillset of Resilience increases productivity, engagement, wellbeing, and success. One can equate Resilience to the key that unlocks each of the preceding outcomes.
One of the key concepts I teach in The Bounce Back Better(R) Resilience System, a Flourishing Center program, is examining the evidence for and against our thoughts. Not all of our thoughts are true and not all thoughts serve us well. If you, your company,organization, or team want to learn how to take these thoughts to court and increase your personal and professional success contact me about this program. ~Katrina